The Poo Necklace Dipped Round the world – a Vanderpump Rules Recap

This week on Vanderpump Rules, it’s still Wedding Week! We resume Jax and Brittany’s rehearsal dinner at the Kentucky Castle but are suddenly interrupted by an NYPD Detective – record scratch – why would it be an NYPD detective when we’re in Kentucky? Anywho, he’s saying that there’s been a murder in the castle. Time for a murder mystery dinner! Who is going to solve the mystery? None other than Lala who absolutely crushed it using common sense.

Is it a wedding tradition to start shit at your friend’s rehearsal dinner? I don’t think so, but this crew managed to do it anyway. Stassi, Katie, and Lala are still upset that Kristen is taking Carter to the wedding when they are supposedly broken up. Kristen is still upset that the girls are drilling her about this again. I’m still upset that this is a plotline. Katie declares this the “end of a friendship.”

Back in West Hollywood, Dayna is approached by another Surver explaining that her “boyfriend” (or wedding date as Max thinks of it) was seen being friendly with another girl. This confirms what we knew all along: Max is the absolute worst. Grab your popcorn, and wait for Dayna to tear him a new one.

We travel back to Kentucky to find everyone partying later that night, except for the Groom. For once, we get a vulnerable moment from Jax who is spending some time to himself, reflecting about his father. It can’t be easy for him to get married knowing his Dad won’t be there to see it.

Kristen, tries to find an ally in Beau, which isn’t smart considering she’s fighting with his girlfriend (almost fiancee). When it goes as expected, she freaks out calling him selfish for supporting Stassi, and calling her his number one. Beau, being the level headed person he is, immediately diffuses the situation and the two toast.

The following morning, it’s a somber moment with Jax, as a box for his Dad’s ashes is delivered. Jax explains how he still likes to spend time with his father even though he has passed. I wish we could see this open and honest side to Jax more.

After more discussion about why everyone is mad at Kristen, Tom Schwartz drops the bombshell that he and Katie aren’t actually married! In true Schwartz fashion, he lost the marriage certificate thinking it was just a piece of paper. This technically makes Jax the first guy to get married in the group. Come on Schwartz, you had one job! Flashback to a never before seen clip from Katie and Schwartz’s wedding from 2016 – and they were trying to find the certificate then. Does this mean the producers knew they weren’t married the entire time? WHOA!

Ariana, Scheana, and Lala are discussing Raquel and James’ relationship. Scheana reveals to the girls that James is going to start AA Meetings, which gets Lala excited. She offers her support to James – this looks like the beginning (again) of a beautiful friendship.

Meanwhile, in LA, things are about to get gooooooood. Dayna invites Max over to confront him. This brings back memories to old seasons – Dayna flashes the other girl’s shirt to Max and immediately asks all the important questions: when did you last hang out, why does she have a Tom Tom Pride shirt, did you f**k? Max said it was similar to taking his “mom” out to lunch – yeah, okay. In what may be a first in VPR history, a girl decides not to put up with a boy’s BS, ends the situationship, and gives him his necklace back. But NOT before dipping it in cat litter. A move no one will ever forget.

Over in Kentucky, we have a surprise wedding guest – Lisa Vanderpump! She is able to attend the wedding after all since her Mother’s funeral isn’t until the following week. Randall pulls the whole thing together and flies her out on his PJ. Randall is the MVP of this season.

Stassi rushes to inform Lisa that Katie and Tom aren’t actually married, but we are quickly interrupted by a goofy line dancing Beau. What ever did we do without that gem of a man? Never change.

At Tom Tom, James is getting the scoop about the Dayna and Max situation from Max himself – who once again claims that he and Dayna were never exclusive, and that he was seeing this other chick at one point and wanted to end things with her. Any way you shape this, it’s not looking good for him. It doesn’t start to look good for James either, who is complaining that he’s going to start AA meetings.

The night before the wedding, Brittany warns Jax not to drink anymore. I wouldn’t bet my money on that. The girls and guys separate. The ladies are decked out onesies of things that would live in a castle. The guys aren’t dressed up, except for Beau, who came as a knight! God love this man.

The girls are having a twerking contest and the guys are …drinking! Told you not to bet on that. A drunk Jax proclaims that Brittany is the best woman for him – cue the montage of their relationship. I seriously hope he is able to wake up on his wedding day tomorrow.

We’ll find out next week!

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