It’s the most wonderful time of year at SUR – Pride! Everyone is prepping for the big event. While 10% owners of TomTom, Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz get their suits together, and make sure they have DJ James Kennedy booked (totally not awkward considering how rudely he treated Katie last season), and Scheana, Raquel, Brett, and Danica are at LVP’s painting posters for Pride. Lisa makes a joke about how Pride can get messy and it’s not only about James, and Raquel can’t see why her boyfriend can’t catch a break. Let’s see if she learns by the end of this episode.
Lisa confronts Scheana about her mistreatment of Dayna at SUR. Scheana INSISTS it’s not because she’s jealous of Dayna and Max’s situationship, she just truly doesn’t like her. The wide eyes and tears tell us otherwise. She’s not jealous, she just R E A L L Y doesn’t want to stand behind her and wait to get her hair done at all.
Ariana makes her way over to Lisa’s, but not to help decorate posters. The two have a serious conversation about Ariana’s depression. Ariana opens up about how moving into her dream home never solved her problems in the way she thought it would. She even was brave enough to admit she has thought about driving her car off the road. Her vulnerability is something to be admired – I’m sure she has assured many viewers that they’re not alone.
Now it’s time to check in with Brittany, Lala, and Stassi. They’re discussing Pride, and it’s totally sinking in that this show is very different from Season 1 since the three of them are not working the event. James Kennedy comes up in conversation, and Stassi ponders “Where are we that James is the only person that can DJ at an event?” We’re on TV. What’s Vanderpump Rules without a little conflict?
Speaking of James Kennedy, his return to our TV screens includes a velvet robe with “White Kanye” embroidered on it, a little shit talking of Katie, and his impersonation of an American Accent. Also, shocking absolutely nobody, he’s found a way to screw up his freshly mended friendship with Lala in a matter of days. James posted a photo mocking the fact that her fiance owed Fofty Cent (google it) money. I’d say that anyone would see that’s a terrible idea, but it is James – he lives for the shock value at all.
Pride is finally here, and over at SUR, Jax is clearly butthurt that he’s the only one out of his friends who still working there. He’s fighting Danica on the fact that he needs to bartend. When she asked him to set up, he flat out said no. When she asked him where his pride outfit was, she said he doesn’t dress up. The drag outfit he wore to Tom’s bachelor party, and the old man getup he wore to his own bachelor party have determined that is a lie.
Jax shows his ass even more when he pretends not to know Dayna, even though he hung out with her in a hotel room last season. As if that weren’t bad enough, he went on to borderline bash her looks. Can someone point this man to the exit?
Over at TomTom, it’s time for James to confront Lala. How Lala isn’t breathing fire in his face, is a mystery to me. She remained cool, level headed, and mature the entire time as they reconciled – DAMN girl! The whole cast can learn from her, except then the show probably wouldn’t be as fun to watch. As they’re walking away, we learn that James is not getting any closer to sobriety. Once again, no one is surprised.
It’s time for the parade! We get a front seat of all the action, and the fortune of a shirtless Brett holding Lisa’s umbrella. We as the audience also have the misfortune of having to flash back to Scheana singing one of her songs. *Please God, please let that be the only performance of the episode.*
Tom and Tom look adorable in their matching suits, and Schwartz explains how good it feels to walk into a crowded TomTom. Our little Schwartzy is all grown up from his panic attack at Pump days. We’re big proud of you.
And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for – a James Kennedy freakout. This time, cursing out his innocent girlfriend Raquel for missing his DJ set. Because missing your boyfriend hit the enter key on a MacBook Pro a ton of is a t r a g e d y worthy of being cursed out over.
Raquel makes her way over to TomTom and admits she doesn’t want to upset James because he can explode at time. The picture of a healthy and not at all toxic relationship. What’s even better, is she left HER JOB to go watch her boyfriend. I don’t think it could get any worse.
…and I stand corrected. James just accidentally outed the fact that his girlfriend was skipping work to HER BOSS, and then admitted to her that he has been drinking. Does this guy enjoy sabotaging himself? No need to answer that.
Uh oh, Raquel is in trouble with a very strict Manager Peter who is different from Pirate Peter we met in Episode 1. Her excuse for missing work? She “lost track of time.”
Remember when I prayed to never hear Scheana sing again this episode? My prayers were not answered, because she’s singing “Good as Gold” on the bar.
Take a puff of your inhaler, because Scheana and Dayna are going to have a talk. While Scheana claims everyone has mistreated Dayna and not only her, Dayna is all of us watching, and isn’t putting up with her BS. Scheana claims she’s mad because “Dayna” is trying to hang out with all of HER friends, and then blames it on the hormones because she’s freezing her eggs. At least the most awkward exchange in history ends with an apology from Scheana
As always, Pride did not disappoint! It’s sad to see another year go, but we’ll be on pins and needles waiting for next year’s parade. Until then, there’s always next episode.