All day I’ve been saying ‘I want to blog about something but I have no idea what to write about.’
No matter how hard I tried, I could not find inspiration in anything. Not from the disgustingly cold weather we’re having, my own emotions or life, not even the more serious issues our country is facing could spark a fire in my in my brain. That was until about 5:00 pm.
I was mindlessly browsing Facebook, and came upon a post about a Q-tip on Instagram that was attempting to steal the World Record for most likes on a photo from an EGG that recently took said title from Kylie Jenner.
If you need to re-read that sentence so it sinks in, go ahead. I’ll wait here until you’re good.
Now that you’re back, let’s dissect this account, shall we? I love a group activity, and like in High School, I’ll be doing most of the work for you.
View this post on Instagram
The Q-Tip of the world needs some love! Let’s set the world record, beating our friend the world egg(49,687,732) let’s go 🕺💃 #praisetheqtip #qtipplatoon #swabsquad #doubletap hurry up guys, tell your friends‼️ let’s reach our goal by the end of January ‼️‼️ Difference between CHAMPIONS and LEGENDS. Anybody can be a champion , the 🥚 EGG is a champion but is it a legend? What the egg did was LEGENDARY but it’s not a legend. The Q-Tip is a #legend . The Q-Tip is not only in the game it’s the game changer‼️‼️‼️ don’t come for @kyliejenner , I got you Kylie 💪#teamqtip #teamkylie #letswintogether #killthehype #followforfollowback #follow4followback
As of right now, our pal Q-tip has a whopping total of 79 likes.
The Q-tip is claiming the desire to break the Egg’s World Record is coming from a place of support for Kylie Jenner. I have some follow up questions:
- Is this page run by Kylie herself?
- If it is run by Kylie, does she realize that she will have lost the post for most likes two times over?
- Why a Q-tip? Why not a lamp? Or hairbrush?
The Q-tip then rambles on about champions and legends in incomplete sentences. To cite a quote from the About Me:
Difference between CHAMPIONS and LEGENDS. Anybody can be a champion , the 🥚 EGG is a champion but is it a legend? What the egg did was LEGENDARY but it’s not a legend. The Q-Tip is a #legend .
Okay. So according to the Cotton Swab, ‘anybody can be a champion, the egg is a champion.’ Well, ear cleaning tool, the egg is not a body, it’s an object. So therefore, it is not a champion by your scholarly definition.
Let’s keep going.
‘What the egg did was LEGENDARY but it’s not a legend. The Q-Tip is a #legend.’ Okay Wax Remover…you gave a glowing and very detailed definition about what makes a champion, but you neglected to explain what makes a legend.
If we scroll up a bit to Swabby’s about me, there will be ‘merch coming soon…’ I don’t know about you, but I can NOT wait to get my hands on some Q-tip t-shirts, or Q-tip Livestrong Bracelets…oooh how about a Q-tip iPhone case? /sarcasm.
If this post teaches you anything, let it be that I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. Can we, as a society, collectively get a hobby?